As a mother of seven kids, I have been around the block and back with picky eaters. I've tried everything from sneaking in the veggie puree to playing the choo choo game. But finally, I have figured out that there are some basic truths on dealing with picky eaters. And just as Moses received the stone tablets on top of Mt. Sanai, I too, have received the legendary ten commandments of picky eaters from on top of a mountain of spinach puree, whole-wheat pasta, and carrot sticks. And I am sharing them with you. So back away from that golden calf of confusion and follow these ten basic principles to end the pickiness forever.
Thou shalt never underestimate the power of dessert.
For a long time I didn't want to admit it. I resisted the power of the chocolate cake and the oatmeal cookie. But I finally realized that there is true power in dessert. If a child knows they have to mow through a broccoli salad to get to a fresh-from-the-oven blondie that is filling the kitchen with a succulent aroma, then they will usually suck it up and follow through. Desserts hold power. Use them wisely.
Thou shalt honor thy health and the health of thy children.
Health always comes first when it comes to kids. If they know they eventually they will get some French fries and chicken nuggets, then they can usually become pretty demanding. Kids need to know that healthy meals are non-negotiable. Don't compromise on health just to get your kids to eat something. There are tons of recipes out there for healthy food that is tasty and delicious so eliminate the junk food
Thou shalt not deceive thy children with sneaky food.
I was one of the sneakiest moms on the planet. I would put carrot puree in spaghetti sauce, spinach puree in stews, and hide sea vegetables in my bean burgers. I also advised many moms to do likewise. The problem I eventually came across as my kids grew older is that this type of sneakiness removes kids away from delicious foods in their whole form. They will never appreciate veggies for what they truly are because they are taught to expect a diet of unusual tasting soups, burgers, and pizzas. I have begun teaching my kids a healthy respect for veggies and am pleasantly surprised at the outcome!
Thou shalt bring thy children into the kitchen.
Kids today are soooo removed from the food process. Many of them here phrases everyday such as, "get out of the kitchen. I'll call you when it's done." Fuggetaboutit! Kid need to be in the kitchen. Bring them in, teach them how to prepare food, how to chop, slice, sautee, and bake. I've found that only adults think cooking is drudgery. Kids see it for what it is meant to be-fun and games. The more you get them involved in food preparation, the less likely you will have picky eaters. So bring them in the kitchen. Blast the music, turn on the griddle, and make it a party!
Thou shalt not plan meals nor shop for food alone.
Children love feeling a sense of power. If they get to plan meals and shop for them, then they will want to enjoy them as well. There are tons of great kid-friendly cookbooks. Check some out of the library and try out some recipes. Set some health guidelines and then just let them go. They will likely surprise you with their choices.
Thou shalt make food a joy and eating a pleasure.
Food is supposed to be fun. When did adults forget about this? I inherited my love affair with food from a long line of southern women, women who understood that meals bring people together and eating delicious food puts smiles on faces. Mealtime is happy time around our home. Make an effort to have fun with your kids at dinner. Talk about their interests, play games at the table, and enjoy what you eat.
Thou shalt not cook angry.
I am a strong believer is negative and positive energy. One time I was seriously stressed out and I made pancakes. I followed the same recipe I always follow, but there were lots of leftovers and the kids didn't eat them the next day. I asked my oldest daughter why she didn't want any pancakes and she told me, "You can feel your stress in them." We actually have the power to affect your food through your energy, so never cook angry. That negative energy enters the food and enters your family. To me, it's just as important to pray before cooking as it is to pray before meals. Release the anger and worry, and allow yourself to feel peace, joy, and gratitude.
Thou shalt remain a parent and enforce dietary principles.
When it all comes down to it, you're still the parent and what you say goes. Don't ever think you need to operate a restaurant, filling orders and delivering the goods. When a meal is prepared, that's what the family eats, no exceptions. If your child wants to eat something different, then I have two words for them, "too bad."
Thou shalt model what thou teaches.
If your kids see you chomping chips and chewing chocolate, then they will do likewise. Model what you want to see in your children. Let them see you eat healthy food and loving it. There are plenty of times when I sing the praises of my cooking and smack my lips over my dishes. That's not arrogance, that's good cookin'!
Remember the dinner table and keep it holy.
If you only follow one of these ten commandments, let this one be it. Family meal time should be treated as a sacred event. Make an effort every day to gather together around the dinner table, to connect and share. This has been a place of some of our most intimate family moments and heated family debates, but the beauty of it is that we are all there-the family. Remember that family always comes first and the kitchen is a holy place indeed.
Hannah Keeley is the founder of [http://www.totalmom.com] and the mother of seven kids. She is the author of "Hannah's Art of Home" and "Hannah Keeley's Total Mom Makeover," and has appeared on the Today show, Fox and Friends, and the Rachael Ray show.
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